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The problem with cheating is that it's a betrayal of trust. When you enter a monogamous relationship, and you commit to each other, you make a promise not to sleep with or date other people.
That's a part of the boundaries that you set down. And when a person cheats, they have violated the boundaries that you agreed upon.
Which means that cheating is actually possible in polyamorous relationships! When a person violates the boundaries of the relationship, that's cheating, just like it is in monogamous relationships.
Maybe three people are in a closed relationship, and one sleeps with someone else. Maybe a person in an open relationship doesn't disclose their partners to their other partner, even though that was part of their initial agreement.
These types of things are ways that trust is broken. How do polyamorous people make sure everyone's on the same page? For people who have only dated monogamously, and who have never had any expectation of outside relationships, the concept of polyamory may seem mindboggling.
Adding another person can be complicated, especially when trying to take into account everyone's feelings. But it isn't an insurmountable issue.
Healthy polyamorous relationships have a strong focus on open communication. Different people have very different levels of comfort.
No two polyamorous relationships are exactly the same or have exactly the same boundaries. Poly people are therefore very upfront about their current dating arrangements with their partners, particularly when flirting with someone new.
They are clear about their intentions - whether sexual, romantic, or friendly - and they are open to discussions and questions to clarify their thoughts.
In a well-structured polyamorous relationship, all of the involved parties should know: What the terms of the open part of the relationship are Whether there's any discomfort at a partner having sexual or romantic encounters with certain people Whether there are any hesitations or jealous emotions What the commitment of the partners is to each other The value that everyone in the relationship has to each other The expectations for every relationship within the polycule As long as people are clear about their intentions, experiences, relationship structure, and boundaries, it's actually not too difficult to negotiate a functioning arrangement.
Do polyamorous people get jealous? Jealousy happens to everyone. Yes, even polyamorous people! There are two definitions of a polyamorous person within the community.
The first is an individual who has romantic feelings toward more than one person simultaneously. The second is an individual who actively practices non-monogamous relationships.
Just like monogamous couples, polyamorous people are prone to feelings of insecurity and jealousy regarding their partner. But because poly relationships don't tend to include an element of possessiveness, the jealousy is usually coming from somewhere else.
Poly people who experience jealousy have said that they've later discovered it was actually related to: They felt like they weren't getting to spend enough time with their partner and wanted more space for the two of them.
They felt like their partner was giving other people in the polycule more attention, which made them feel slighted. They began to worry that their partner liked being around other people in the polycule more than them.
They had a problem with one of the people their partner was dating but didn't realize it until the jealousy happened.
All of these feelings can be resolved by talking to the partner in question. In fact, most of these things have simple solutions. There's no need for jealousy to cause huge arguments or conflicts.
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